I am a 'serialist'. Not a word I know, sorry.
I haven't been single in 20 years. Whilst I have been in a number of relationships (3 to be exact) during that time, there wasn't really a gap in between.
I have worked for the same company for over 15 years, tempted to try something new over the years but never have.
Maybe it's loyalty, maybe it's better the devil you know. Maybe it's the lure of safety.
Whatever the reason, once ensconced in something I know, love and feel safe in, I rarely entertain the idea of anything different. Who would? I hear you ask. Surely that's what the majority of us are looking for?
But what happens when the cracks start to appear, do you ignore them in place of contentment? How much do you ignore or compromise on in order to maintain something you've known for years.
So here I am.
'on the cusp of'
A year of monumental change awaits me.
My relationship has no future. Such a cold statement when you consider all that's actually involved, but a fundamental fact nonetheless. This acknowledgement and the knowledge that I am going to have to address that, has forced my hand on the employment front also. I cannot survive, support my daughter and have any semblance of the life I know on my salary alone.
So, each little step taken with trepidation and maybe, underneath the gut churning angst and apprehension.. a glimmer of excitement too.
